I’ve been thinking a lot about my path, my purpose in life. What am I meant to do in this world? And how can I be sure that’s what I’m meant to do?
Truth be told, I started posing these questions to myself a few years ago, after having coffee with a former music colleague. One of the most positive and radiant individuals I know, if there is such a thing as an ‘old soul’ it would have to be her.
We hadn’t spoken for a while, so she came by to catch me up on some new projects, the trajectory of her music career, and her current path. As we sipped on our homemade lattes, the conversation drifted to mediation, intentions, and the deeper, bigger meaning of life. We were talking about her, when suddenly, she shifted the conversation to me. What path was I on? What do I want to be doing?
Our purpose in life
Unbeknownst to her, I’d been wondering about that myself. How do you find a purpose in life. It’s intimidating to think about, and not easy to answer. It’s an easy question to push aside amid the busy-ness of life. That’s basically the answer I gave her: “I’ve been so busy, I haven’t had time to think about it.”
That was true, yes, but only partially. The other reason I hadn’t given it much thought is because there’s a part of me afraid to know my purpose. Because, if suddenly you are sure of your purpose… does it then become a burden?
There’s always the chance of not fulfilling your purpose in life. And if you don’t, does that mean you’ve wasted your time on earth? Not knowing your purpose comes with a lot less pressure, I’d say. As the saying goes, ignorance is bliss.
After she left, I felt a wave of emotion and energy, and a strong urge to meditate – so that’s what I did. I allowed myself to just sit and slow my mind, and that’s when a long forgotten memory came flooding back.
Glimpse into the past
I was 22, and working at Camp Stephens on Lake of the Woods. One night there were only a few staff on the island. It was a cool night and the bugs weren’t bad, so we decided to camp outdoors.
We found a nice open spot near the edge of the tree-line, and crawled into our sleeping bags for a cozy night under the stars. Laying there on our backs, looking up at the glimmering night sky, the scene was breathtaking. Gazillions of stars twinkled overhead, from horizon to horizon. I remember feeling so infinitely small. Yet, somehow part of it all.
For the next few hours, we talked about all kinds of things. Our conversation drifted to the deeper, bigger meaning of life, what it’s all about, and the idea of coincidences. That they are not coincidental. Rather, they are signposts letting us know we are on the right path. On the way to our bigger purpose in life.
In that moment, I can swear I had some kind of existential experience. I felt engulfed by the sky, and all around me was blackness. Almost as if I was in a tunnel. All I could see were the stars shining down from above. At the same time, I experienced an incredible understanding of the universe.
Secrets revealed
It was like someone or something had cracked open an existential doorway. Revealing secrets. Filling me with infinite knowledge. For a moment, I found the meaning of life. I had clarity like never before, combined with a profound sense of peace. The world made perfect sense, and I got ‘it’. Fully and completely. Although I didn’t even know what ‘it’ was.
As quickly as the feeling came, it was gone. Just like that. I have no idea where it came from, or why it happened on that particular night. Or what it meant. It was very strange and surreal. A little bit spooky even.
Up to that point in my young adult life, I had never had any deep philosophical discussions. Yet, I suddenly knew with 100% certainty that everything happens for a reason. That we all have a purpose in life. Even me. I knew that one day, someday, I, too, would know what it is.
Confirming the path forward
In the years following, the notion that ‘coincidences are not coincidental’ really resonated with me. Anytime I experienced a coincidence, I felt a sense of confirmation that I was on the right path. Knowing that I was exactly where I was supposed to be in that moment.
It’s hard to describe exactly what happened on that weird and wonderful night when I was 22. Anytime I tried to explain it to someone else, they’d stare at me with looks of confusion. They didn’t get it. And really, neither did I. So I eventually stopped trying to understand it. And over time, forgot about it.
I hadn’t thought about it for many years. Decades even. Until my colleague triggered the memory while talking about her own journey in life. Trying to identify her own purpose. She reawakened in me an awareness of myself – past, present and future. Reminding me, that I, too, have a purpose in this life. And so I must be on the right path.
Coincidence?? I think not.
